Living In The Moment

Apparently, I forgot I had a blog. Which doesn't surprise me, I've been forgetting lots of things lately...my brain is completely fried. For instance, these two burn marks:

Yes, those are grill marks on the palm of my hand, because I grabbed my George Foreman by the grill plates a few weeks ago. Evidently, I just forgot those heat up when you plug it in. This was taken pretty soon after the incident, so they are better now, but there is definite scarring. So that's cool; I have yet another scar that is in no way badass, and is in fact a result of my own stupidity.

Lucky for me, the semester will be over in two weeks and I will get a little baby summer which I am completely excited about. (a "welcome to my brain" update: I just reread this sentence and I thought it said I will get a little baby this summer...so for those of you who read that, that is not what I said, I will in no way be receiving a little baby this summer).

Now, an update on previous posts. Thinking back to my New Year's resolutions...most of those are a complete fail. I have not kept up on cleaning my place....I actually did pretty well until about mid-march when I got busy and my personal goals went to shit, as they usually do when I get stressed. I have not stopped eating like a gross-nasty. I've gotten better, as in I've initiated fruits and vegetables into my diet, but I still need to improve. Hopefully in two weeks when I can get focused on something that is not homework or grading papers I can get better on both of those things, but until then, I will keep up my gross habits :)

A lot has happened since my last post...I turned 23, which was uneventful in and of itself, but my birthday celebrations were pretty fantastic. I got to celebrate with my OKC family the Sunday before, and the word incredible does not begin to describe how they made me feel. I know I say this all the time, but being an only child, it is such a wonderful feeling to feel like you have brothers and sisters and little children that you've never experienced before. And they just welcome me into their hearts...I really am fortunate to have such amazing people so close to where I am. I also got to spend the evening of my actual birthday enjoying libations (read: getting slightly hammered, something slightly out of the ordinary for me) with all of my closest friends in Stillwater. It was such a fun night, and once again I feel pretty great to have such good people in my life. I spent the whole night laughing and enjoying myself and realizing I have great friends that let me make a fool of myself and still be my friend afterward!

I also got my first parking ticket ever, thanks to OSU having people who are constantly checking parking permits. I really don't think this happened at Creighton, but then again, I never broke parking rules at Creighton (nerd alert) so that may have had something to do with it, too. It was the day before my birthday, a little bday surprise from the man, I guess. No big deal, $20 fine and I'll be more careful with my parking (except that was sarcasm and I will still park illegally).

I got my headboard and my curtains put together in my bedroom (again, with the help of my incredible family)....and if I do say so myself, it looks pretty fantastic. There is still a curtain shortage, so it looks a little empty, but very soon that will be taken care of and it will be perfect. Here, lookey lookey:

Ignore the glare of the light...it was the best I could do. I'm pretty pumped about it, and it's just so me. So geometric. And I left off most of the pillows so you could get the full effect of the headboard, but imagine it with all the pillows! Ah, happiness. And yet another picture of my apartment...you readers have almost had the full tour now in only two pictures.

However, the biggest change of all is that I'm actually SEEING CLIENTS. Like real people are coming to me with problems and expecting me to solve them. While this is super exciting, it's also incredibly terrifying. I still feel like I haven't quite found my footing or who I am when I'm in the room. I know (read: hope) this will come with time and practice, but it's still hard to feel any sort of confidence that I can help these people when I don't even have confidence in myself to do it. So, here's to hoping I get better. It's also hard when I feel like everyone around me is already great at it...my program always says you can't compare yourself to everyone else, which is true because we're all different, but it's human nature to compare and sometimes I can't help it. So, aside from struggling with my own confidence, I'm still not sure if this is what I want to do with my life. That may come from the insecurity, so only time will tell. I'm gonna keep sticking it out and trying to do the best I can, but it's a friggen hard program. Who knew grad school would be one of the top 3 hardest things I've done in my life? But, almost done with year one....unreal.

My best friend Steph was my first official visitor to Stillwater last weekend, and she also experienced my first Stillwater tornado with me, so that was a big weekend. But it was awesome to have some love from back home come down here to hang out with me! We got to do the whole Oklahoma experience...Eskimo Joe's, tornadoes, and 5 am walmart runs...so, sorry to you Steph for having such an eventful weekend here, but I'm so happy you came!!

To end with the random thoughts swimming in my head lately....I've become very painfully aware of my molars lately, which can probably only mean that my chewing skills will be going even more downhill from now on. This is just a warning to those of you who will have the painful experience of watching me eat; sorry, I'm going to look like a tiger tearing apart my prey. Nasty. Apartment updates: obnoxious upstairs big black truck neighbor boyfriend is back in the picture making the most noise ever possible, which sucks. Trying to let that go because there is so much else to deal with, but it was a glorious four months when he was not here for whatever reason. And if anyone wants to come over and be threatening, I wouldn't complain ;). Also, the weird smell that happens when I turn on my dryer is in fact not my dryer's fault. Still don't know the culprit, so I guess if anyone wants to come over and be threatening AND knows something about ventilation, I wouldn't complain even more! Finally, I've been really obsessed with getting new and good music lately, so if you have any suggestions I am open to them! My recent obsessions have been the new Jason Mraz CD (obviously), Love is a Four Letter Word and The Lumineers CD. I actually went out and purchased the Jason Mraz CD because I actually want to have it in the flesh, as I usually do with his CDs, but there is a deluxe version on itunes for like 3 bucks more that has extra songs and live songs (most of which I've ended up purchasing anyway) so if you don't have an obsession with an actual album, buy the digital expanded CD. Ok, now I'm officially turning my brain off for the night. Until next time, my friends.