Twice in one week? I know, too much. But I had some more thoughts about things. First though, my embarrassing story of the day.
Warning. Don't read this paragraph if you get grossed out by things that are a tiny bit gross. Or ears.
So if you've been around me lately, I'm sure you've heard - cause let's face it, I like to bitch about things sometimes - of my weird ear problem where I wake up and I can't hear out of my right ear and how it's because I have sinus stuff. Usually, it goes away in like 10 minutes and I can hear again, but today I woke up and it wouldn't go away. For hours. So I got freaked out that I was going deaf and decided to go to the University Health place to get it looked at and make it go away. Ok. Fast forward four hours. At student health. The doctor is an old man whose first comment is "so you've been shoving beans in your ears, huh?" Ok, doc. I'm 22, almost 23. Not 7. And that was not funny. But I play along because if I need drugs, I want stuff that will actually help me. So I giggle and let him keep telling dumb jokes. Awkward 5 minutes ensues where he asks me my symptoms and I don't really have any besides the fact that I can't hear out of my right ear. So he looks in my ear and is like "there's so much waxy buildup I can't even see your eardrum." Well, that's disgusting. I'm a clean person, that shit doesn't happen to clean people. I guess it does....anyway, he asks if I want them to flush it. Sure! What the hell else am I going to do? So this nurse lady flushes out my ear....no joke. Weirdest thing I've ever had done to me....anyway, all of a sudden I can hear and the lady is like "uh, do you want to see what came out." First reaction: NO! Second reaction: well, if she's asking me, maybe I should. So I do. Freaking part of a q-tip has been shoved in my eardrum for God knows how long. I don't know how it got there. I'm freaking out. First of all, really embarrassed that obnoxious doctor guy is going to have to come back in and I am now suddenly the 7 year old with shit shoved in her ear. Second of all, that's just absolutely disgusting. Walk of shame out of student health commences. What a day. Moral of the story? Don't use q-tips.
Ok, everyone can read again.
So the real reason I wanted to post is because of love. And that is purely because I watched half of the movie Dan in Real Life last night (freaking love that movie), and partially because it's February, and that just means love. Anyway, the whole premise is based on this dorky guy finding love in all of the wrong places. Of course in the end it turns out well, but there's drama. So I'm watching this movie I've seen like 5 times, and some parts still get to me. Like how the hopelessly romantic teenage daughter is obsessed with her boyfriend. Well, dad is not happy about this and sends boyfriend away. Boyfriend says to dad, "Love is not a feeling. It's an ability." Well, first he said it in Spanish, which was really hot because of my obsession with foreign language. But that's beside the point. I was really struck by what he said. Probably every person you ask to define love will say it's some sort of feeling where you blah blah blah.
BUT....what if love isn't really a feeling, just an ability? A skill a person can have, or learn? That almost makes more sense to me. Which I find weird, because I'm a hopeless romantic and would have said the same thing when asked. Love is all about feeling goofy and safe and happy and excited and all of those things. If we think of love as an ability, it makes a lot more sense. Some people just don't have it. Some people suck at love. It's true. I know people that said they've never been in love. Maybe they just weren't born with, or taught, the ability to love. They may have had plenty of happy and wonderful relationships, but never been in love because they just don't know how, or what that even means. I know people who claim they are incapable of being loved. Maybe they don't have that ability, either? But, if love is an ability, that means it can be taught. It is impossible to cause a person to feel in a certain way. People are going to feel what they want to feel, regardless of what someone says. If someone says they can't feel love, maybe it's true, they can't. But what if they could be taught love. I feel more confident teaching someone how to play the piano than I do teaching someone how to feel depressed.
On the other end of the spectrum, love being an ability could be the reason behind the fact that I am really good at it. And by "really good at it" I mean I fall in love all the time. I have no problem being in love. I love to love. I love to be loved. Might as well face it, I'm addicted to love. I don't ever know why, or what it is about my feelings that makes it love, but I know that it is. Which is weird. And after watching The Bachelor tonight, I wonder if maybe those girls aren't just really good at love too. Really bad at sanity and making good choices, but really good at love. Honestly, though, I just think they're all nuts. But, according to this new theory, maybe they're just well trained. If you think of it like that, you could argue that you could train someone to love poorly, in the opposite direction, which could also explain the crazy girls on the bachelor: trained poorly.
I think all people should be able to love and be loved. I don't care how badly you've been hurt in the past, how afraid you are of love, or how much you claim you don't need it. Love is an experience. You need to have it whenever you get the opportunity. Love hard. Love big. I could start quoting (more) cheesy movies but I'm not going to, because that's lame.
Well, that's my ramble on love. Whatever love is, I like it. The end. Oh, funny (not really) story. I went to Chick-fil-a tonight because I was having a massive craving....call it my reward for the ear thing. Anyway, in my bag there was an invitation to Valentine's Day at Chick-fil-a. No joke. They're having a valet. And a photographer. And it's 25 bucks. You better get a whole friggen chicken for that. But, probably beats the plans I will have...stats test and then homework. Lame. Oh well. I'm still not going to be that girl that hates V-day. I really like V-day. Guess it's the hopeless romantic in me. Good hopeless romance song for right now? Make You Feel My Love, by Adele. She is the queen of romance. Now go on, learn to love, or feel love, or just love. Whatever :) And if you think different...let me know. I want to hear!
Oh, and P.S.-Pretty sure my million bottles of water broke the bottom shelf in my fridge. Whoops.
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